Brent Detwiler, Sovereign Grace Culture, and the Latest Scandal

A Rational Assessment, with some Image Repair Analysis

Fair Disclosures

• Brent Detwiler graduated from the same high school as I did. He was ten years before me, though.

• I was Southern Baptist for over 30 years, at least half of that in NeoCalvinist circles.

• My previous church was very adjacent to Sovereign Grace: they used SGM music extensively during worship, and even recommended materials by C.J. Mahaney for discipleship.

All that to say, I know the culture well. And as I develop my thoughts here, you will understand why I am making that disclosure.

Introduction: Brent Detwiler and The Sovereign Grace Saga (the Mach 3, 80,000-foot version)

In 2014, I became aware of the disaster at Covenant Life Church, the mother ship of Sovereign Grace Ministries. At the time, Joshua Harris—of I Kissed Dating Goodbye Fame—was the lead pastor. He had been groomed for that by none other than C.J. Mahaney himself.

The nature of the disaster? Massive sexual abuses and coverups. Covenant Life Church only escaped legal liability due to statute of limitations.

Brent Detwiler, who had been a mover-and-shaker in Sovereign Grace circles for years, provided key insights into the problems at SGM due to his being a former insider. While some of us wondered about his own culpability in the culture that fast-tracked Joshua Harris from buck private to 4-star General, we appreciated Detwiler’s candor.

And make no mistake: Detwiler was spot-on. And he paid a horrendous price for that, as he instantly became persona non grata in SGM, as well as the larger Neo-Calvinist world. NeoCal leaders dismissed him as “sour grapes”. And yet, over time, his assessments were proven correct.

• Joshua Harris resigned his pastorate at CLC.

• Joshua Harris’s marriage blew up.

• Joshua Harris deconstructed and eventually abandoned Christianity.

• C.J. Mahaney’s responses were pure DARVO.

• Harris’ successor at CLC—PJ Smyth—eventually resigned due to his shifting story regarding the abuses of his father, John Smyth. That constant shift in story led to his resignation from the church he planted after he left CLC.

At every stage, Detwiler provided keen insight into the personalities and the culture of SGM. I will not take that away from him.

Brent Detwiler’s Downfall

Unfortunately, and there is no pretty way to spin this, Brent Detwiler has, of late, engaged in disqualifying behavior.

As much as it pains me to say this, we have to call it what it is: clergy sexual abuse. I will explain why, and I say this not to throw napalm on Brent, but I have to call it straight. Intellectual honesty is paramount here.

I will provide links to both Brent’s account and that of the affected family, but here’s the executive summary:

• Brent Detwiler’s wife died.

• After being out of ministry for over a decade, he was in a position of need.

• A family took him in.

• He became too close to the wife, engaging in a sexually-inappropriate relationship with her.

• Ultimately, he was confronted by the husband.

• According to Brent’s account, he apologized and moved out.

For reference, here are the accounts:

• The family’s account is here.

• Brent’s statement is here.

Why do I classify this as clergy sexual abuse?

Brent insists that, when he carried on this affair, that he was not acting as a pastor, that he had not been in pastoral ministry since 2009. (Although as recently as 2021, he said he was returning to ministry. And he was allegedly involved in guest preaching roles—at the church where the family he was involved with attended—even if he did not hold an active church office. he was involved in ministerial activities at their church—even if he was officially a layperson.)

So his personal charisma, pastoral acumen, and his body of spiritual knowledge were what got his foot in the family’s door. Brent would have been able to gain insights into her vulnerabilities that others would not have.

My take: I don’t think Brent Detwiler is a serial predator. I also don’t think he sought out to be predatory. I think he was lonely and got stupid—all while lacking any serious accountability—and went where no man, let alone a minister, should ever go.

But the end result: what he did was in fact abuse, as he used his host—who was a recipient of his preaching, and who was himself in that role because he had some renown as a seasoned church leader—for his gratification.

IMHO, abuse was not his intent, but it was the telos. And we need to be honest about that.

As a result, coming out of the gate, I saw his initial statements on TwitX as full of minimization and DARVO. That is the wrong kind of Image Repair.

What About Brent Detwiler’s account?

To Brent’s credit, his latest blog post—which I linked—has some pretty solid mortification. Let’s have a look at it.

The title itself is interesting, as he quotes the first clause of Amazing Grace, the iconic hymn written by John Newton, himself a former slave trader and slave rapist.

Is he using BOLSTERING, appealing to famous Christian redemption stories, to elevate his status? Or is he acknowledging the gravity of his offenses? I cannot answer that one, as I cannot ascribe motive. But time will tell.

In the first four paragraphs, Brent describes his situation and the events leading to his stay at the home of the family. On its face, I see those paragraphs as matter-of-fact.

Then he gets to the heart of the problem in the fifth paragraph:

In September of this year, however, the nature of my platonic friendship with the wife turned sinful. We began to relate in limited, but serious, sexual activity. The husband discovered it. This led to a meeting where we were confronted. In that context, I asked forgiveness for my sins. Thereafter, I moved out the house and to another area.

In this case, we have an admission of guilt. While the minimization is not as pronounced as what I saw before his post, there is still some minimization there:

• Note the use of passive voice:

  • “…the nature of [the friendship] turned sinful.”

  • “…we were confonted”

• Also, his admission was minimized:

  • “we began to relate in limited, but serious, sexual activity.”

That smacks of a Bill Clinton-style defense. And no, I don’t believe we need to know the details, as we are all grownups here and we know what sexual activity can entail. If it’s sexual, then it’s only permissible between a man and his own wife. Anything else is way short of the glory. The use of passive voice is minimization as it reduces the perceived impact of an action. This is why attorneys coach their clients to use passive voice when they are under cross-examination. Remember the Watergate hearings: “Mistakes were made…”

After that, we have this:

I am grateful for God’s discipline and I am now experiencing the consequences. The Lord is just but he is also merciful. He has not dealt with me according to my sins and I look forward to serving him in the future as he allows.

That is what we call MINIMIZATION via TRANSCENDENCE. While he does acknowledge that his sin has consequences—that alone is better than a lot of folks—he says he “looks forward to serving [God] in the future as he allows”. I call it minimization because he does not acknowledge that his behavior is disqualifying; i.e., unbecoming of church office.

He is no longer “above reproach”, which is a key requirement of one who seeks a church office. And if you’re going to preach, you need to be of that kind of character. And sadly, Brent’s actions have put him in a position where it may not be possible to become “above reproach” again. I say that with zero satisfaction.

Next, he says this:

For clarity, and without minimizing my sin, I have never been sexually involved with another woman over the past 43 years. That is when I married. My wife is deceased. Nor was the wife ever involved with another man. She too asked forgiveness of her husband. She is a fine woman.

Unfortunately, that statement gets to the heart of his problem: he is in a position where he must account for his past in light of his present. As former President Ronald Reagan once famously said: “If you’re explaining, you’re losing.” In this case, if you have to appeal to your past to shed light on your present, then you are not above reproach. And when you’re a seasoned minister—Brent is 67, not 23—it’s prohibitively difficult to become “above reproach” again.

Next. we have what appears to be good MORTIFICATION:

My greatest passion in life is to see the gospel of Jesus Christ shared with those separated from God. Yet, I have brought reproach upon this endeavor through my hypocrisy and various enemies (e.g., those who have committed crimes and covered up crimes) will use it to discredit me and my work. This produces great regret.

I also lament the impact of my sin upon those who are friends and supporters. You have trusted me and I have betrayed that trust. I sincerely ask your forgiveness.

Mortification is the good type of Image Repair. In mortification, one acknowledges the offense and the consequences. His mortification here is not complete, but it’s not bad either. He at least is acknowledging the ramifications of his hypocrisy, much as King David’s sin stirred up contempt among the Amorites (a key reason why God’s punishment of David was quite severe).

What is missing: he does not acknowledge the impact of his actions on the woman and her family. While I do not believe he set out to do such damage, the fact is, he did great harm to them. On that front, he seems to have some ownership issues.

Finally:

I know my sin is great but I also know God’s grace is greater still. I marvel that the Holy One freely forgives me in Christ Jesus because he died in my place and suffered the punishment I deserve. Even more, Jesus imputes his perfect righteousness to my account which is the basis of my acceptance by God forever. Praise his holy name!

What he ends with is TRANSCENDENCE. For the record, I do not dispute God’s forgiveness here. Nathan told a much-more sinful King David: “The Lord hath put away thy sin. Thou shalt not die,” even as there were terrible consequences. I think we ALL should thank God that He forgives all sins, including the worst variety of sexual offenses.

John Newton—whom Brent quoted in the title of his post—was guilty of far worse than Brent is here. Even when he received Christ, Newton did not abandon his rape of slaves immediately. It took some time for him to come around. And yet, even today, that song reverberates in every Protestant and evangelical sector.

At the same time, I would contend—and even Brent Detwiler concedes—that there are severe consequences in play. I would argue that he has disqualified himself from pastoral ministry. I just don’t see a Biblical case for him becoming “above reproach” from here. And even then, based on his latest statement, while it is genuine in many respects, I would contend that he still has ownership issues.

Conclusion

Brent Detwiler’s scandal is painful to read, no matter which account (and I’ve read both). It is painful to acknowledge, but there’s no denying it.

It is hard to even begin to imagine what a dark place Brent Detwiler was in: he had been out of ministry for 15 years, his wife died, he had been in dire financial straits for many years. And making matters worse, he was persona non grata in the very conservative sectors whose theology he shared. For blowing the whistle, he guaranteed he would never be invited to the parties. It’s hard not to have empathy for him.

At the same time, he went where no man—especially a pastor—should ever go. He took what wasn’t his to take. And his vector for the going and the taking was a function of his status as a man of God.

While his contrition is laudable—even if incomplete—his actions render him beneath reproach, and his future as an advocate for church reform has been damaged. I don’t think he can surmount that “above reproach” requirement. Most church abuse scholars I know would call his actions permanently disqualifying. I agree with that assessment.

I want people to finish their races strong. But because of his self-inflicted wounds, Brent Detwiler is relegated to crawling to the finish line.

Still, I will not discount God’s forgiveness. If you confess and renounce your sins, you find mercy. That’s in Proverbs. And we all know 1 John 1:9. Still, Brent Detwiler must face a lot of music in his remaining years on this side of eternity.

I know some advocates who are steaming furious with Brent, one of them—herself a victim of clergy sexual abuse—wanting to “beat the 💩 out of him.” Their anger is understandable. The family has suffered extensive harm; the woman in question, has suffered more than she understands now, and will be picking up the pieces of this for the rest of her life. While some of that is on her, most of that is on Brent. Ownership issues…

As for me, I find it depressing. I’ve said it before: when someone wears the jersey for Team Jesus—no matter which camp they are in—I still want him or her to “represent” well. And I want the old fogeys—I’m not a Spring chicken either—to finish strong.

This is saddening.